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Pre-Weigh-In Jitters. Day 23.

Bailey has had enough of your shit.

Yeah, I got ’em. I do not want to weigh in tomorrow. I ate out way too much, worked out not at all, and barely drank more than 32oz a day. I’m not mentally prepared for the walk of shame from the scale into the meeting with the receptionist giving me that, “Why do you suck so bad at this?” look. Ugh.

Today marks four years since my very first best friend died. I tried like seven different euphemisms for “died” there, but nothing seemed to work. I’ve been obsessively looking at pictures all day. I even went on Myspace (and promptly moved my pictures over to Facebook so I never ever have to go there again)  I still remember my mother waking me up around 6am on Thanksgiving morning to tell me there was an accident. I still remember not being able to breathe at his funeral. I still remember having a massive nervous breakdown about it all in Brittani’s car a few days before she died, too.  Ugh. Again.

Work was horrible today. It seems like the customers are just getting worse every single day. I don’t have it in me to deal with it. I was on the verge of a panic attack for the majority of my shift. I just want to take a great big nap. I’m so happy to be off tomorrow.

I’m watching my very first episode of Seinfeld. I’ve really never watched it before. I now know why. Jesus, this show is annoying. I’m only awake right now to watch Glee.

My plans for tomorrow: Wake up. Go for a walk. Go weigh in. Not eating my feelings.

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