Five Excuses Not to Go to the Gym.

1. You just had a big lunch and now you’re too full.

2. You’re having a fat day. (Which is every day.)

3. You just realized that you get the Oprah Winfrey Network and you have a lot of catching up to do.

4. Russell Brand is on The View and is trying to seduce Sherri Shepard.

5. Your neck decided to rebel against you and you cannot move without it feeling like someone is hitting you in the head with a hammer.

I’m picking the last one, although 3 is a good one, too. I don’t want to pick that last one. I really don’t. It has been forced upon me since yesterday morning. I was really excited about getting to go to start my 1-week trial at the gym, but I couldn’t. Obama did it. I’m sure.

I woke up this morning at 5ish for work. Neck’s still cramping. I called off. I hate my life. I really need all the extra money I can get, so losing out on my regular money isn’t my favorite thing.

I’m also a bit dehydrated because I’m awesome and took a bunch of muscle relaxers and pain meds and just passed out all day yesterday. I felt like a big ol cotton ball all day. Fuzzy with a very dry mouth. I’m trying to get in at least 3 nalgenes worth of water today.

My hypochondria needs to stop. I’m pretty sure this isn’t from sleeping wrong/being very stressed lately/having horrible posture at work. It’s definitely meningitis, pancreatic cancer, or something that went terribly wrong when I went to the dentist last week. I’m making myself crazy. (And my sister isn’t helping. She keeps telling me that I have a tumor because she knows it’ll make me think I do.)

Okay. There’s a blog. Back to watching OWN all day.


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