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Something’s Gotta Give – Emotional Eating

I’ve been out of control with eating again. Like any good addict, I have a million things I like to blame this on. My new job, having to adapt to new hours, stress stress stress, this huge zit that’s coming in on my chin and hurting like hell and looking like something big bit me..

I really don’t know how to get it under control. Further, I don’t know how to care enough to make myself get it in under control. I probably need a therapist. Or an analrapist. I hope someone out there gets my reference.

My main issue right now is as such: I have IBS. Everything I eat makes me poop. Immediately. Violently. Got it? You wanted to know that, admit it. It’s important to know that to know why I’m crazy with the food.

I don’t eat breakfast because I don’t want to get sick on the way to/at work.

Don't mind if I do.

I keep lunches light (I’ve been eating steamer lunches from [I think] Lean Cuisine. They’re quite tasty but not satisfying in the least) so I don’t get sick at work.

I come home and eat like a crazy person to make up for starving all day.

Repeat.

I don’t know how get past it. The managers took us new kids out to lunch today and I nearly had a panic attack because I didn’t bring any Immodium.

I didn’t get sick. I also didn’t overeat (or really eat much at all)

Okay.

There I go.

Showing off again. Self impressed by how well I can put myself down! (That one’s for Jensen, but if anyone else gets this reference, I would be happy. If you get both, then I will be your bff.)

See what I mean about the putting the blame elsewhere? It’s my favorite defense mechanism.

Anyway. I don’t know what to do here. I’m pretty sure I gained another 5lbs. It’s out of control. WW went right on ahead and charged me for another month even though I just paid for this one and it’s not even over yet so I guess I’m stuck with them for another 30 days. I feel like this program is a structured eating disorder. I’m still not over the Nothing Tastes As Good As Being Thin Feels!!!! unofficial motto they’ve got going on. Whoever came up with that must never have had a stromboli. Or a taco. Or nugs.

I think I’m done now. I like advice. I’m a fan of advice. I’ll take what you got.

Peace.

[This post is dedicated to Megan Powell]
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9 thoughts on “Something’s Gotta Give – Emotional Eating

  1. I am on the same path as you are right now. lots of excuses and not really caring that much. We’ve lost some weight already, so we’re cool for now, right?? (that’s how i feel at least)…

    My issue has been the stress with andrew’s job search and not knowing until yesterday where we were moving… so our eating has been just awful… but in a week and some days, we’re not letting excuses get in our way anymore.

    I think you just have to weigh the outcomes… Keep putting off getting focused and really buckling down and COMMITTING to the weightloss journey… or continue to possibly gain the weight you already lost and be in a worse situation than you were a year ago… I don’t know about you, but my ass is sick of being so heavy that my feet kill me from standing for hours on end…

    You can do it. We should be more supportive of each other (without being a naggy, obsessive weight loss insane-o female, because i know enough of those…) WE can do it 🙂

  2. Also totally over the “nothing tastes as good as thin feels” bull. No. Things taste awesome. Like in my head I just invented a brownie with sea-salt & dark chocolate covered toffee bits baked in with some vanilla, no, coffee ice cream on top. that would taste. flipping. awesome.

    And i have no idea what being thin feels like, soooooo this comparison isn’t even something i can relate to. You lose, WW.

    good job on the analrapist line. and this IBS sounds miserable & i don’t have wise things to suggest. Not to be self-promoting (seriously–I wouldn’t say this if i hadn’t recently written a post on binge eating), but I just wrote a post on binge eating, which helped me sort out of a lot of my GOOD GOD WHY DO I EAT STUPID STUFF ALL THE TIME WHEN I’M NOT EVEN HUNGRY feelings.

  3. wish i had some good advice for you. but alas nothing. i have ibs too & it does suck. the “therapist” thing reminded me of the therapist epi of squidbillies. not sure if that’s what you were referencing, but that’s what i got out of it.

    & yeah, the monthly WW thing charges you 2wks before your month ends so they can get your card to you before your current one expires. though why we need a new paper card every month i’m not sure. seems wasteful.

  4. Try a banana for breakfast, just slightly unripe (as in not bright yellow with black spots yet). They can help with uh, regulating things.

  5. I think that motto is really fucking creepy and conducive to eating disorders, too.

    I have IBS too, and the medication that works best for me is a tricyclic antidepressant called clomipramine. I did gain about 10 pounds when I started it, but the reduction in IBS symptoms is so huge that it’s totally worth it. I use Imodium as needed, but it’s pretty rare for me to need it now.

  6. Thanks for the shout out. I would advise listening to [A–>B] Life and trying to feel exactly the way Aaron felt when he wrote those lyrics, then you’ll be too depressed to eat. Problem solved. Love you!!!!

  7. Analrapist = when one combines the professions of analyst and therapist?

    Not sure on the second one.

    Yep, IBS is awful!!! I can’t be comfortable unless I know every possible bathroom between here and where ever I am heading. I know you have probably already been through the litany, but have you tried eliminating certain foods. For me, anything greasy triggers it. And overeating triggers it. And soda. And sometimes air.

    Hope you find your way through the emotional part of losing weight. It’s definitely the hardest part.

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