I’ve been out of control with eating again. Like any good addict, I have a million things I like to blame this on. My new job, having to adapt to new hours, stress stress stress, this huge zit that’s coming in on my chin and hurting like hell and looking like something big bit me..
I really don’t know how to get it under control. Further, I don’t know how to care enough to make myself get it in under control. I probably need a therapist. Or an analrapist. I hope someone out there gets my reference.
My main issue right now is as such: I have IBS. Everything I eat makes me poop. Immediately. Violently. Got it? You wanted to know that, admit it. It’s important to know that to know why I’m crazy with the food.
I don’t eat breakfast because I don’t want to get sick on the way to/at work.
I keep lunches light (I’ve been eating steamer lunches from [I think] Lean Cuisine. They’re quite tasty but not satisfying in the least) so I don’t get sick at work.
I come home and eat like a crazy person to make up for starving all day.
I don’t know how get past it. The managers took us new kids out to lunch today and I nearly had a panic attack because I didn’t bring any Immodium.
I didn’t get sick. I also didn’t overeat (or really eat much at all)
There I go.
Showing off again. Self impressed by how well I can put myself down! (That one’s for Jensen, but if anyone else gets this reference, I would be happy. If you get both, then I will be your bff.)
See what I mean about the putting the blame elsewhere? It’s my favorite defense mechanism.
Anyway. I don’t know what to do here. I’m pretty sure I gained another 5lbs. It’s out of control. WW went right on ahead and charged me for another month even though I just paid for this one and it’s not even over yet so I guess I’m stuck with them for another 30 days. I feel like this program is a structured eating disorder. I’m still not over the Nothing Tastes As Good As Being Thin Feels!!!! unofficial motto they’ve got going on. Whoever came up with that must never have had a stromboli. Or a taco. Or nugs.
I think I’m done now. I like advice. I’m a fan of advice. I’ll take what you got.