Exercise videos are pornography.

Day 14.

Today, I captioned an exercise television show. I won’t say (I actually can’t say) what show it was, but, damn. I couldn’t keep a straight face the entire show consisted of lots of squat thrusts and leg lifts/splits and lots of “ooh” “mmmm” and “oh yeah, oh yeah.” in a very velvety bedroom-voice. It was out of control. This show is DEAD. SERIOUS., too.

I don’t think I would have noticed this if I didn’t have to sit and scrutinize every word and every sound effect. I love my job.

I have to wonder if all workout videos are like this and I’ve never noticed it. I’m going to have to investigate this some more.

Today was my 9-year-old cousin’s birthday. She’s pretty much one of my favorites. When the waitress asked her what kind of ice cream she wanted, she looked at me, then looked at her, and said “GREEN TEA!”

I’ve trained her well.

As you can see, we thoroughly enjoyed our green tea ice cream. I could eat buckets of it. But then I’d be 350 again. Can’t be having that.

It was 75 degrees today. What the heck? There was snow in the forecast for Thursday and Friday. I think it’s gone now. Thank G-d.

We officially christened my car as the new party wagon tonight. It only took five months. I know you’re wondering what this means. No, I didn’t get drunk in it. No, I didn’t have sex in it. I loaded up my sister and other-cousin after the Benihana shenanigans and had a big Journey/Bieber sing along with the windows down. Today was the first time we’ve been able to keep them down since I got my car in October. It was good.

I’m spending the rest of the night with hot chocolate and my purple kitty cat nightgown. Erryday I’m hustlin’.

Goodnight, blog.


One thought on “Exercise videos are pornography.

  1. Ha! This reminds me of a blog post I was working on! We have these fancy spin bikes at my gym that I am in LOVE with. Anyway, you can ride to tv, your MP3, OR the trainer- who I have named Sven.

    Sven is blonde, looks Swedish, wears a *tight* bodysuit, and has a lisp. He really is built like a Greek, er Swedish, God. Anyway, he repeatedly closes his eyes and mouth and ‘Ooh’s and ‘Aah’s! I swear to God he’s about to have the big O right there on my screen (and if I spent longer than 45 minutes holding in my laughter I might know!) It’s hysterical!


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