I had the most terrifying lunch ever today.
Nothing really out of the ordinary. Sandwich, yogurt, dessert-ish item. Everything was delicious and nothing hurt.
Then I had this shocking realization…
I just ate Activia.
Oh. My. God.
Our fridge is always stocked with yogurt in any flavor you can imagine. I usually just grab one (that isn’t dessert flavored — who are you kidding, Yoplait?) in the morning and go.
I am full of bad luck.
Every single time I’ve ingested Activia (or any other “OMG SO GOOD FOR YOUR POOPER!” product), I’ve shat my brains out.
I spent the rest of my day scared to walk too fast, sneeze too hard, or make any sudden movements.
I managed to get through the day okay. Maybe today was a fluke. Maybe the 20+ other times I ate this kind of stuff were all flukes. I don’t know.
I’m just glad I got through the day.
In other news, I just made a dish for tomorrow’s lunch that I’ve decided to call “Shit up.”
My sister: What are you making?
Me: Shit up.
What are the contents of Shit Up? Well, I’m glad you asked.
One chicken breast + olive oil + whatever spices I feel like it + whole grain pasta.
Cooked for however long it looks done to me. The chicken is cut in however many pieces at however many sizes. It’s a good time.
Today is my rest day from working out. You can’t push 300lb body for an entire weekend and expect to be able to walk up the stairs at work Monday morning. Nor can you expect not to have constant leg cramps while at work. I know this.