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The number one cause of Swimmers Ear.

So, I’m reading this book about how if your dream job is to, say, be a circus performer but you work at Sheets and Things, you might want to try to get up early and practice your fire-breathing skills before you go to your day job.

All I’ve wanted to do since I was 5 was be a writer (and maybe a lion tamer, but I fell allergic to cats at age 10.) I’m guessing this means I should write more before I go to work at my non-writing job.

So. Here I am.

Today’s my first day back to work after a week of vacation. Yesterday, my ear decided it was going to kill me. Swimmers ear. Oh, my god. Let’s talk about my experience yesterday.

I left for MedExpress at like 8:10 because I figured it opens at 9:00 and I could be the first one in there. I got there at 8:40. The waiting room is already packed. The hell?

I was only there for about 30 minutes. I got called back maybe 15 minutes into it. The medical assistant was very friendly. Then she took my blood pressure. I’ve never had high blood pressure. Ever. Most of my family does, but not me. Mine’s actually pretty low, especially for a fat girl.

Apparently, it was 140/90 yesterday. I’m not positive that she read it correctly. Regardless, she scowled at me. Scowled. Then we went over my medical history and she kind of scoffed and said, “Can you guess how much you weigh?” I’ve never been good at carnival games.

After she left, I sat around for another 5 minutes or so until the Nurse Practitioner came in. She never looked me in the eyes once.¬† She asked why I was there. I told her I had Swimmers Ear and that I’ve been having major sinus headaches for the past couple of days on top of that. I’ve had both of these things hundreds of times. I know what they are and what they feel like. I just want some damn medicine.

She stared past me to the chart of the respiratory system on the wall and said, “Uh, what do you mean you have those?”

Bitch, what do you think I meant?

She eventually left and came back with a prescription for ear drops and flonase and basically told me I need to lose weight and these things won’t be an issue.

You heard it.

Being fat is causing Swimmers Ear. Probably the sinus headaches, too. Don’t even try to think it’s because I suck at getting the water out of my ear after swimming or that I have the worst allergies of all time. Nope.

It’s because I’m fat.

The whole thing was unreal.

I sprained my back pretty terribly my sophomore year of college. I couldn’t stand up for over a week. It took me 45 minutes to get down the hall to the bathroom. I finally made one of my friends take me to the ER to get something done about it. The doctor told me I had scoliosis and that the reason it hurts now is because I’m fat.

Is this a thing now? I mean, come on.

I don’t have scoliosis. I sprained my back carrying my way-too-heavy suitcase up the stairs of my dorm when I flew back to school after a break. It has nothing to do with my weight.

I’ve been fat my entire life. Why didn’t my family doctor warn me that, unless I lose weight, I’m going to have ever sickness ever because of my size?

Ugh.

So, there’s all that.

I’m currently sitting around whining about my ear still. I’m lucky I still had pain killers from the dentist or I have no idea how I would have fallen asleep last night. It’s pretty brutal. I can’t wait to wear headphones on all night tonight. I have one of the coolest jobs in the world, but I feel like I’m going to flip out before lunch time.

Obligatory funny picture relating to my post or my day:

This is me at work around 7:00 every night. Yay!
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2 thoughts on “The number one cause of Swimmers Ear.

  1. Sierra,
    Well, I’m no expert, but I think you have a very promising writing career ahead of you! I stumbled upon your blog through another weight loss blog (I’m also a fellow blogger), and I love your writing style.
    I’m always amazed at the insensitivity of some individuals regarding people’s weight – to ask you to guess your weight is not only unprofessional but completely asinine. I would not have been able to hold my tongue had I been in your shoes. Overweight or not – no one deserves to be treated condescendingly by an alleged medical professional from whom you are seeking help.
    http://buttfatblog.blogspot.com/

  2. I hate nurse practitioners. They think they’re trained in medicine, which they aren’t, they’re trained in nursing, which is a completely different discipline, and they all suck. Which is why I hate them. Nurse practitioners= shittwats.

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