There’s been a lot of things going on lately. Most of these things ended up just me freaking out about how to talk about it here. Next week is kind of a big deal.
Monday: New teeth. I’ve been wanting straight teeth since I first realized that my front teeth basically point in opposite directions. I could get a Master’s degree for the amount I’m paying to straighten them, but I’m so excited.
Tuesday: While recovering from SIX root canals, I’ll be getting my hair cut. This might not seem like a big deal, especially for anyone who’s known me for the past 10 years. I kept my hair no longer than four inches from 12th grade until I graduated college. I’ve been growing it out since then. Over two years. I actually have a legitimate ponytail now and everything. It’s insane. I’m getting it all cut off, though. It was a nice experiment, but my hair is too fine to wear it long. And I made a promise with myself that if I ever got to the point where the idea of cutting my hair made me nervous, I would cut it immediately. Immediately is on Tuesday.
Wednesday: Nothing all that important, really.
Thursday: This is what’s been giving me so much anxiety.
I’m having my first appointment for weight loss surgery.
I know. I know. I’ve been going back and forth and researching and talking to those who’ve had it for over two years now and I think it’s for the best. I feel like the biggest hypocrite, but I also feel like I need it. I have a huge list of pros/cons going on in one of my notebooks. I have three pages of pros. I have two cons:
1. I have a 1 in 2,000 chance of death.
2. People are going to think less of me.
Why do I care so much about what other people think? I really thought I was above that at this point. Blah.
But, yeah. I’m going through with it. I’m still debating between gastric bypass and Lap-Band. Part of my appointment is going to be figuring out which is best for me.
I’ve only told a very select few about this and I’ve had a pretty mixed reaction. My family promised they’d be supportive once I was definitely getting it (This announcement has been about three weeks in the making now) and so far so good. I’ve only told three non-family members. Now I’m telling you, blog. You deserve the first public announcement.
I have to be on a supervised diet for six months between my appointment Thursday and the surgery, which, if all goes well with my insurance, should be late-March, early-April. This might mean a return to Weight Watchers. I don’t know. It will most definitely mean I’ll be talking about dieting again.
There are few things more conflicting than being someone who believes in fat acceptance/health at every size and also getting WLS, let me tell you.
So, are we still friends, blog? I’d like to be. I’ll be posting more about it in the future, obviously, especially regarding the exact reasons why I’m doing this and not just going on some diet. I just needed to get this out in the open already.
Here’s the obligatory picture.