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Titles are hard.

Hey, blog.
I’m in the biggest writing funk right now. It’s weird. I have so much stuff to talk about, but I just keep opening up this little box and not really doing anything.

I changed the theme/design of the blog, but I’m not feeling it. I should probably just upgrade my WordPress account because I hate all of the pre-made themes here and my CSS skills are a bit rusty without any use. And I need to figure out a button because I keep getting asked for them/to do button swaps and I am so designed challenged. It’s sad.

That’s not even important. I was just violently reminded of what is important.

I got my permanent caps on my teeth last Monday. Tuesday was fine. Wednesday was fine. Thursday was fine. Friday, I took a drink of water and it felt like someone shot me in the face. I’m going in tomorrow at 9:00 a.m. to see what’s wrong. The last three days have been absolute torture. The only water I can drink is on the warm side of lukewarm. I can’t bite into anything. Nada. It’s awful. I just accidentally clicked my bottom tooth on the bad tooth and I was reminded that there are more pressing issues than my design skills. Ugh.

I also met with my PCP about the seven-month supervised diet part for surgery. She’s insisting on 1,200 calories and actually suggested P90x, which I almost find insulting. It hasn’t been fun. I hate diets. Hate hate hate hate hate. I’ve been miserable for two weeks. I bought Hungry Girl’s “300 Under 300″ book and everything tastes like cardboard. I’ve been drinking Carnation Instant Breakfast or Special K protein shakes for just about every meal since Friday, though. Chewing is absolutely out of the question until this tooth gets fixed. Except I did have an apple dumpling at the Apple Festival today. I will sacrifice my tooth for those.

My only goal for the seven months is not to gain weight. Maintain or lose. I have this intense fear of gaining weight. I feel like I’m going to get an eating disorder or something. I’m also still uncomfortable with the “durrr I hate liberals and bring my guns everywhere!” idiots from the cult who go to my gym at the same time I do. I’ve never run into them. We seem to miss each other when I actually go, which isn’t often. Some guy gave me the biggest stink eye the other night because I was too close to the machine he was using as a beanbag chair or something. It’s intimidating being in a gym in the middle of the night with just guys and gun-toting teabaggers.

Also, both Doctor Who and Glee have completely trampled on my heart in the past two weeks.

How much can I possibly whine in one blog? Geez.

Looking on the bright side of life:

1. I started crocheting again and my blanket I’ve been working on since, oh, 2010 is finally big enough to nap with. I also have a bag of about 25 granny squares and a ton of new yarn to finish another blanket.

2. I really do have the absolute best friends in the world, even if I don’t see them often enough.

3. I don’t hate my job. Captioning can be really tedious and super-negative coworkers can be day-ruiners, but I love that I provide a service for people who really need and appreciate it. And sometimes I get to caption really good things. I’d be lying if I said Oprah hasn’t made me cry. In the past week.

4. I’ve been going to the same church since June and I can’t count one time anything has made me cringe there. I love the people there to bits. It’s so refreshing to be in a church that loves people and not just because they have to. I found a notebook the other day from when I was first sketching out stories from the cult and I said something like, “I don’t even know why I’m writing this. I don’t have any resolve to my story and I don’t think I ever will.” I can admit when I’m wrong.

5. I’ve started a new book collection: >1960s etiquette/social guides. I found a dancing manual from 1942 at Half Price Books yesterday, along with a 1963 (I think) Seventeen magazine etiquette guide for teenage girls. My crazy eschatology book collection isn’t getting enough attention because of this.

6. Speaking of books, I found a copy of “A Wrinkle In Time” with the exact same cover as I had when I was in grade school! It was just a really good book day yesterday.

7. It’s October, which means it’s almost Halloween, which means Hocus Pocus and GISHWHES (Team Ravenclaw wants YOU) and pumpkin cupcakes and everything I love. I’ll take this whole month over the winter holiday season anytime.

8. My Vicodin kicked in and I don’t feel like I want to tear my tooth out with ice skate! Hooray!

I miss you, blog. We should get together more often. Here’s a picture of Cas that one time he was stoned. (SPOILERS!)

This is basically my life. I’m going to miss nugs. How can something with so little actual food be so tasty?
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2 thoughts on “Titles are hard.

  1. 1,200 calories seems awfully low. I mean, I’m not a doctor, but it seems too low. How tall are you? 5’6? Your basal metabolic rate is theoretically somewhere around 2,100 calories with age, weight, and height all factored in. If you ate 1,900 calories per day and tried to burn 300 calories a day with exercise, you’d lose about a pound each week.
    500 calorie daily deficit. 3,500 calories equaling a pound of fat. BLAH BLAH MATH BLAH.

    Basically, I hate how dietitians seem to always prescribe 1,200 calories to everyone, no matter their history or height/weight/age/whatever.

    1. I’m 5’4″! And she’s not a dietician. I have an appointment with an actual dietician on Wednesday. I’m going to see what she has to say. I’ve been sticking with 1,500 instead of 1,200. I don’t cry over wanting a banana when I get home from work that way.

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