Danny Trejo is my co-pilot.

If Danny Trejo was my menacing best friend, I would have a lot less problems because I would make him stare at whatever until the problem was solved.

Supervisor freaking out because I’m taking three seconds to return a text at work because this is not 1994 and cellphones are a thing now?

Danny Trejo

My crush of the day not hearing my mental cries of LET ME LOVE YOU I AM THE GREATEST LETS GET CAKE?

Danny Trejo

Chinese restaurant blaring Fox News while I’m trying to enjoy my chicken in sugar sauce?

Danny Trejo

My crazy dog keeps carrying around her monkey toy and crying but not verbally telling me what’s wrong, leaving me to Google dog symptoms and wondering why there is no canine equivalent to WebMD?

Danny Trejo

Sad person pinning pictures of me on her pro-ana thinspo board?

Danny Trejo

The internet not respecting the fact that I’m only halfway through the Harry Potter series and would appreciate to remain spoiler-free even though it’s been a lot of years since the books and movies came out, thanks?

Danny Trejo

Sallie Mae having the audacity to think my English degree is worth $60k?

Danny Trejo

Sending out my 500th résumé in a year and only hearing back from three places, getting an interview from two, and not being hired at either?

Danny Trejo

That guy texting me solely because his girlfriend is ignoring him?

Danny Trejo

Eye insurance no longer covering more than $100 of my contacts and needing $400 more than that?

Danny Trejo

Fat-shaming coworkers who are fat and I kind of feel bad about it because they don’t love themselves at all, but, still, shut up?

Danny Trejo

Feeling like a big fat grossy-pants annoying person with bad hair?


5 thoughts on “Danny Trejo is my co-pilot.

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