If Danny Trejo was my menacing best friend, I would have a lot less problems because I would make him stare at whatever until the problem was solved.
Supervisor freaking out because I’m taking three seconds to return a text at work because this is not 1994 and cellphones are a thing now?
My crush of the day not hearing my mental cries of LET ME LOVE YOU I AM THE GREATEST LETS GET CAKE?
Chinese restaurant blaring Fox News while I’m trying to enjoy my chicken in sugar sauce?
My crazy dog keeps carrying around her monkey toy and crying but not verbally telling me what’s wrong, leaving me to Google dog symptoms and wondering why there is no canine equivalent to WebMD?
Sad person pinning pictures of me on her pro-ana thinspo board?
The internet not respecting the fact that I’m only halfway through the Harry Potter series and would appreciate to remain spoiler-free even though it’s been a lot of years since the books and movies came out, thanks?
Sallie Mae having the audacity to think my English degree is worth $60k?
Sending out my 500th résumé in a year and only hearing back from three places, getting an interview from two, and not being hired at either?
That guy texting me solely because his girlfriend is ignoring him?
Eye insurance no longer covering more than $100 of my contacts and needing $400 more than that?
Fat-shaming coworkers who are fat and I kind of feel bad about it because they don’t love themselves at all, but, still, shut up?
Feeling like a big fat grossy-pants annoying person with bad hair?