It’s been requested of me to write something, so here’s something.
Today I waited in line for about four hours in the bitter, bitter cold to meet Buddy Valastro, love of my life and beautifier of my captioning days. And to get cake. We’ve been home since about 3:30. It’s 8:30 now. I’m still a bit cold. It was that bad. I wish I would have had time to say more than DERP I CAPTION YOU, though. I have so many questions about baking I’d love to be able to ask him. Man. Maybe I should just try out for Next Great Baker already. I think I’m ready for it. One of my favorite local restaurants is hiring a full-time baker/part-time barista. They can’t afford me, but I’d consider applying for the job if I didn’t have a thousand bills.
Hip-hop Baking is my passion. Barista-ing, too. If someone wants to buy me a couple of these 5″ cake pans so I can make a ton of tiny cute things and work on my decorating, I wouldn’t be upset about it.
Oh, he was also giving out 10,000 cakes. I got a chocolate one and wanted to eat the whole thing with my hands. Delicious. I’ve been on the news like 30 times today, standing in line like a champion. Try to find me. I’m huge and wearing an obnoxious orange scarf that I wear, like, every single day.
Next month marks three years for us, blog. Thanks for being my longest ever relationship. I know I can count on you not to play with my emotions and leave me for a toddler. Please don’t be offended that I have a crush on like every guy I know right now. It’s just a phase, I’m sure. We’ll grow old and cranky together, blog. I know it.
Here’s a random story that I keep thinking I should write about:
In 8th grade, I told my entire class and this theater group I was a part of that I was related to Chris Kirkpatrick of Nsync. I thought it would be more believable if I chose on of the lesser members, and I even forged a bunch of notes that I supposedly had him and the other boys write for my friends and not-so-friends. I have no idea why I did this. I guess I just wanted people to think I was cool. I remember being so embarrassed like a week later and never wanted to think about it again, but now it’s really funny. I think if I had to choose someone to be fake-related to these days I’d choose Rupert Grint or David Tennant, mostly because I want to muss both of their hairs. Muss is a good word.
That’s all for now because it’s way too cold to keep my hands out of the blankets. One day, I will live somewhere that is not 30 degrees in April.
Good night, blog.
Obligatory other picture: