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My first blog.

Today I’m supposed to be talking about my first blog post. I tried to do some investigating to see how far back I could go in my blog trail. I had a wordpress blog before this one that I only used for my college’s writing contests, then a long string of xangas, and a bunch of livejournals. Maybe a deadjournal. Definitely a diaryland. I can’t figure out which was first, though. Regardless, all of my old posts are way too embarrassing to even post here, even over a decade removed. Lots of either being super depressed for attention or being Judgey McChristian and I can’t deal with it. Here’s some stuff from some of my old stuff because why not?

My first entry on the oldest livejournal I can find is from. April 2007. First year of college in Georgia. I can’t remember any LJ usernames other than this one.

My “Accountability Workshop” for missing a million Convocations is today. What do they want me to say? “No, really, I get NOTHING from Convocation and really hate having to wake up for something I get nothing from?” or “You know what? The stairs going up the bridge are just not fat kid friendly. I feel discriminated against.”

My oldest xanga. This isn’t the oldest post, but this is the first thing that isn’t a survey. May 2003. Senior year in high school and I was such an asshole for the Lord. I remember this conversation.

It was kind of funny how everything started. I was laying on the window sill and I heard the one kid talking about how he always goes and gets drunk and stuff..and I said I’d rather get drunk on God.. and he said that it doesn’t say anywhere int he bible that you shouldn’t drink, so I whipped out my bible and proved him wrong 🙂

I can’t make myself read this stuff anymore. It’s making my head hurt.

This prompt wasn’t as fun as I thought it was going to be.

Here’s a picture of my dog completely ignoring me the other day because she knew I had been playing with other dogs. She wouldn’t look at me even after I squeaked her chicken man. I called her name, she turned her head further away. She’s so dramatic. I don’t know where she gets it from. I hope this makes up for this awful post.

*edit* No. There are too many fantastically bad things I’m finding. I’ll just keep updating this, okay?

Oh, my god. I just found a xanga post with the lyrics to “Hot in Herre” written about God. HOW DID I HAVE ANY FRIENDS.

I was like, good gracious God is bodacious.
I’m gracious, knelt like I’m trying to tie laces
Looking for the right time to say my thanks
Running through church like Forrest played by Tom Hanks
Then uhh, I’m praying
And my boys’ll be saying
Nelly let’s get out and do some playing
Hymn singing, crying out “Jesus I’m staying!”
I need to hang around so I can talk some more
Too soon I’ll be out that door
Cuz I feel like singing praise and I know this ain’t know craze
And can’t nobody change my ways so I’ll do it all the rest of my days

I said I’m feeling God in here
So put on all your robes
(I am feeling God so I’ll put my choir robes on)

Showing God’s love to my former best friend, after she let the church (because she was smart and I was too stupid to see it). My crazy ex-pastor had us pray that she would die before she lost her salvation, like, the same day. Yup. And spelling wasn’t important in my life yet.

Oh, and congradulations, you got your old friends and your old life back! All you had to do was ditch the ones that really did care about you deny Christ! Have a nice life.

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