I went to my cousin’s chorus concert tonight at my old high school. That auditorium brings back way too may bad memories. Painfully late musical rehearsals that might have been illegal, really awkward audition in front of every single person in the drama club, my own chorus concerts. The one that stuck out to me the most tonight was being at a school assembly and being made fun of because I couldn’t fit in the seat.
My ass was in the seat, for sure. But my favorite bully of them all (We’ll call her TC.) was directly behind me during this particular assembly and could see by my uncomfortable posture that I wasn’t fitting just right. I spent the entire assembly listening to how fat/ugly/dirty/poor/whatever else I was and having spit balls thrown at me. It was awesome.
Her and her friends made my life hell from 3rd grade (my very first day on my school bus when I transferred to this school, she looked at me and told me that if I wanted to ride her bus, I better never let her see my fat legs in shorts again. I wasn’t even fat yet. I think I’ve told this story on this blog before. ha.) until I graduated. It was ridiculous. Teachers would hear them and not really care. The friends I did have (sans George. George was always there for me. Now he’s a grown up with a gorgeous wife and baby and lives so far away. I miss him. He’s the only person I remember ever standing up for me when people were picking on me.) didn’t do anything to stop it. Being a fat teenager might be the only thing worse than being a Jew in the Holocaust.
I also learned about hyperbole around the same time as this (I believe I was about 16.) Everything comes full circle, right? I probably need therapy. I really think being picked on for ~12 years is how I learned to be quick and funny. Probably also why I be a bitch on a moment’s notice. Ah well. I love myself way more than I did back then. Maybe that’s why I’m so awesome now.
Anyway, tonight that’s what I thought of as I was sitting there waiting for the thing to start. Then I realized something.
I was sitting, quite comfortably, in that seat.
And then I started thinking, “Why didn’t I punch that slutty bitch in her slutty face?” But then I remembered that I’m a pacifist and shouldn’t be thinking such things. God, I hated that girl. And her friends. And 90% of my class. Damn, I’m glad high school is over.
Also, I just remembered. I had a weigh in today. I lost .2lb. Better than a gain, right? I ate way too much yesterday. I have this feeling I’m going to have an awesome week at WW next week.
(Bonus story: TC found Jesus. She asked me to go to her church last winter and I called her on her making me loathe every day of my life in the late 90s. She has no recollection of this. I bet Jesus has a Neuralyzer that he stole from the set of Men in Black II and he uses it on unsuspecting Evangelicals.)